Tag Archives: humor

Glenn Wargo’s Astrology Notes #14

Due to the long pause in postings,  here is a heaping helping of horoscopic humor from AAI’s Glenn Wargo.


Fashion: Since Asteroid 4 Vesta was in conjunction with the Sun on 1/11, this will be the proper season for 3-piece suits.

Relationships: Asteroid 3 Juno was in opposition on 1/29.  Expect to take flak from your spouse if you stayed up to observe Jupiter.

With Comet Lovejoy (C2014/Q2) sparkling between Andromeda and her hero Perseus, the first half of February is a time to spark up the romance with your sweetheart. Flowers, candy, fine food, even jewelry can help, but loving words and tender attention are also essential.

Weather: With Mercury at minimal elongation around 1/30, look for the rest of January and early February to be chilly.

Finance: Nearly stationary Pluto is relaxing with the Teapot in Sagittarius while Hercules, The Strong Man, is up at dawn. The Fed will remain blissfully unconcerned about inflation while sports authorities strive to tackle the problem.

Nutrition: With gas giant Jupiter up all night in opposition on 2/06, you’d be well advised to skip “seconds” on the cabbage and bean casserole.  Heck, skip “firsts” if you think you can get away with it.  And with a very noticeable Moon on Leo for 2/04-06, it’s time to put your cat on a diet.


Glenn Wargo’s Astrology Notes #13

Due to the long pause in postings,  here is a heaping helping of horoscopic humor from AAI’s Glenn Wargo.


Weather: With Mercury in superior conjunction with the Sun on 12/08, expect more seasonable temperatures (which we had at the time, but then we got hit with this cold snap later in the month – The Astronomer)

Correspondence: With Jupiter stationary on 12/09, expect a letter from the electric company, even if it’s just a bill.

Politics:  Mars will be at perihelion (only 128.4 million miles from the Sun) on 12/12. Look for the newly nominated Secretary of Defense to be on the hot seat at Senate hearings.

Science: Asteroid 3 Juno was stationary on 12/14.  But, as usual, it won’t be long before Jupiter gets involved in shenanigans his wife will NOT stand still for.

Sports: With Mercury, swift-flying courier of the gods, not making it above the trees at the end of the day, don’t expect to find the Jets in postseason play (Another one of Glenn’s prediction that proved to be quite true – The Astronomer).

Travel: With Uranus stationary on 12/22, expect frustrating travel delays this week.

Mood Swings:  With Saturn, the ancient god of Time, in Scorpius, the sting of regret for paths not chosen and now forever closed is hitting you hard.   Soon you’ll feel like throwing away your calendar (Predicted accurately on 12/29/2014 – The Astronomer).

Weather: With the Earth at perihelion (only 91.4 million miles from the Sun) on 1/04 as the Quadrantid meteor shower from the obsolete constellation of Quadrans Muralis (the Wall Quadrant) continues to rain down, you’ll feel like staying inside your walls and snuggling up to something warm.

Glenn Wargo’s Astrology Notes #12

This time around,  AAI’s Glenn Wargo has come across a celestial circumstance that even he has some difficulty in deciding what it means.  See below.


Politics: With asteroid 23 Thalia, The Muse of Comedy, going into opposition on 12/02 in Taurus The Bull, Congress will reconvene for a lame duck session.


Entertainment:  You may be about to run afoul of an extraordinarily multitalented Mexican pop star.

The omens are somewhat cloudy.

Weather: Oh, did I mention?  Cloudy.

Glenn Wargo’s Astrology Notes #11

Mostly due to being very busy at work, I haven’t been posting all that often.  In honor of Thanksgiving Day, here is a feast of horoscope humor from AAI’s Glenn Wargo spanning the month of November.  Happy Thanksgiving to all readers of this blog that celebrate it.  If you live in a country that doesn’t have Thanksgiving Day, have a good time anyway.


Personal: With the Moon at apogee (251,243 miles from Earth) on 11/14, it’s time to ‘apogize’ for your faults.  Don’t be too specific.  It would only lead to trouble.

Asteroid 6 Hebe will be at opposition in Eridanus The River on 11/15. Thinking about pollutants still lying in a nearby river bed could give you the heebie jeebies.

Sports: With Philae riding a comet but having run out of energy, odds are the Eagles will have an exciting finish to the season, but not win the Super Bowl(tm).

As the Europeans are all over 67P/Churymov-Gerasimenko, they will expect the Americans to handle Putin. There are enough Russians to go around.

Neptune being stationary on 11/16, the surfing scene on the Jersey shore will remain pretty much frozen for weeks to come.

Business: With the Moon at First Quarter on 11/29, be prepared to feed the downtown parking meters on Small Business Saturday.


Glenn Wargo’s Astrology Notes #10

Since this is the most popular feature on the blog, here are all the recent installments of AAI’s Glenn Wargo’s cosmic comments that I should have posted in the last few weeks.  Enjoy.


Personal: With the 3.96 magnitude star 10 Ursae Majoris in Lynx since 1928, stay alert as you dig out the winter clothing.  You may spot something you misplaced a long time ago.

Health: With Uranus going into opposition on 10/07, keep a few things in mind:  Fiber.  Roughage.  Stool softener.

Style: Total eclipse of the Moon at 06:51 EDT October 8 will look best from the West Coast and Pacific.  A sure sign Jersey girls have packed their sarongs away until next summer.

News: With Ophiuchus the Healer setting in the west in the evening sky, you will see shortcomings of western medicine reported on the evening news.

News: Earth is coming into position to view the orbital plane of Jupiter’s Galilean moons exactly edge-on, which makes a “season” of moon-on-moon occultations possible.  Io will pass in front of Callisto before dawn on 10/24.  So, expect to see a heightened interest in the occult, at least through the end of October.

News: Mars was narrowly (about 81,000 miles) missed by comet Siding Spring on 10/19.  Expect to see the Turkish military keep its head down in the battle with ISIL/ISIS/IS.

News: Jupiter is now safely in Leo, having survived Cancer.  There is new hope that our medical problems can be solved.

Weather: With Mercury stationary on 10/25, look for cool temperatures to continue through autumn.

Personal: Asteroid 37 Fides having brushed by Uranus during October, you may now have some new friends at the dog park.

Glenn Wargo’s Astrology Notes #9

Sorry about the delay.  Here is another dose of Glenn Wargo’s amusing astrological observations.  (used with permission)


Weather: With Mercury at greatest elongation (26 deg. east of the Sun) on 9/21, expect cooler temperatures for the rest of the year.

Finance: As Pluto is stationary on 9/22, do not look for banking reforms during Congress’ lame duck session after Election Day.

Television: With the Moon under Ceres on 9/27, brace for another season of “The Biggest Loser”.

Personal: With the Moon very close to Saturn on 9/27, check for that missing ring in the back pocket of your pants.

Glenn Wargo’s Astrology Notes #8

Glenn Wargo, Amateur Astronomers, Inc.‘s celestial comic, is back with more astrological gems. (used with permission)


With the Moon at apogee (252,180 miles from Earth) on 9/20, parents will be under increasing moral pressure to ‘apogize’ for ever spanking kids’ bottoms.

Mercury will be under Spica, the ear of grain in Virgo, also on 9/20.  So it’s time to bring hot cereal up to temperature for a hearty breakfast.